THE HAUNTING (new song OUT NOW)

witching hour thoughts...

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lyrics:

I mean it’s true to be honest gotta bite my tongue

because i want to keep peace and not battle some

of my homies hate each other they’re beefing a lot

and i’d be lying if i said don’t wanna bridge them all

cause the differences between them mean the world to them

it’s crazy coexisting isn’t easy for the squad

you can lead the horse to water

will they drink it though?

or will the water evaporate til the well is dry

I’m told i put too much pressure on myself a lot

sometimes i got to though it keeps me humble when i’m not

i’m scared i’ll lose connections with the ones that mean the world

but if it’s meant to be, then it’ll be, I gotta keep

reminding me that money comes and goes and family

is part of things that i will leave when I go and meet my maker

but i got songs to make to leave for when my family develops more

to have a civil conversation, not a civil war

and i guess i’m back on introspection been a while

it’s crazy working inward makes you value outside more

the sun is piercing through my windows and i’m still indoors

I love the summertime because that’s when i feel at home

I know my mother is engrained in me

potential to be passive

but if push comes to shove my temper’s short i gotta watch it

cause if I don’t I don’t

wanna say something out of pocket

and have to pick up pieces that scattered all on the carpet

so i’ll drop it

leave the heat storm at the door

leave my childish tendencies to my youth and explore

what some forgiveness and understanding has in store

4 me

tryna be somebody that I’d love to see

in the mirror when i’m glancing at it

every single morning

and here’s a warning to the me from the past,

if you come back

Praying you’re a poltergeist and not let you possess me

praying for the lessons that I learned to be an exorcism

haunted…

haunted…

every other night

waking up at 3AM

vivid nightmares

even though the dream’s lucid

maybe it’s because

i

when i was reckless

every month

i was clueless

didn’t know

that’s how i coped

when grandma passed

didn’t know what i was in

until it passed

didn’t realize

ecstasy wouldn’t last

and how my ego made my presents turn into my past

and now i’m back hibernating in my room

like how i did when I was a kid too

i have a vision and some goals

more money

more support

because i bury how i feel and they come out at night

i don’t let my emotions distract me

i see them as fuel

maybe that’s a bad thing

but it can be productive

all of my nightmares come from my subconscious

so what’s suppressed is seen when I become unconscious

i’m haunted…

haunted by myself

haunted by the fact that i’m scared to lose myself.

haunted by the treatment towards my family that passed away and didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to them i’m haunted

haunted by my ego

and by my inability to not

try and be a hero

haunted by the fact that I doubt myself a lot of the time

so opportunities present were just cast to the side

and i’m stuck in my mind

when i should be

dreaming about sunlight or living in it

born in the middle of the season

where they’re sensitive

but i’ve been working on it

hearing instead of being defensive

trying to not press

or try to be possessive

I’m glad i made it out of lowest lows

and i don’t think about it when I’m living now

unless I fester too long and in my dreams they show

the ghost of myself that haunts me once in a while

i said i’m haunted…